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 Is it ever right to lie?

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Number of posts : 62
Age : 47
Location : Solihull, England
Registration date : 2008-07-21

PostSubject: Is it ever right to lie?   Tue Jul 22, 2008 5:09 am

Is there ever a set of circumstances where it is ok to tell a lie? Or should we always try to tell the truth, no matter what? Can a liar ever be trusted again? Doesn't everyone lie at one time or another? Is lying essential to who we are? Where do we draw the line between "acceptable lies" and "unacceptable lies"? Why do we often get upset when others lie to us, but we think it ok for us to lie to them?


Last edited by Wolf on Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Number of posts : 102
Age : 47
Location : Birmingham, UK
Registration date : 2008-07-23

PostSubject: Re: Is it ever right to lie?   Thu Jul 24, 2008 9:27 am

A tricky subject, as all of us have lied at one time or another in our lives, yet we would all claim to be honest and not to tell lies. Some of us are expected to tell lies as part of our jobs (sales, actors, advertising, etc). Many of us tell lies without even thinking about it. There are even "white lies" - lies told to avoid hurting someone else's feelings.

Yet all of us get upset when we find that someone has told lies to us, especially if it's a loved one that's done so. No

So why do we do it? We tell our kids never to lie, and then we tell the kids lies in the next breath.

I myself, made a conscious decision not to tell any more lies a few years back, and although I admit that I have slipped up a few times, in general I have kept to that as much as I could. I found that people treated me with a great deal of suspicion because I wasn't lying, and assumed that I must be hiding a bigger lie than they can find, and quite often spent a lot of time and effort trying to find out the lie that they thought must be there, even though there wasn't one. It also caused me a lot of trouble with being too honest. People would get very upset and offended when they would ask me questions to which they expected me to answer with a lie. I admit that I slipped up now and then, because I am only human and sometimes telling a lie was easier than explaining the truth (the acceptable lie took seconds, where explaining the truth could take hours while they tried to understand it).

A common reason for people to lie is to "protect them from getting hurt", normally through we've done something wrong and then we lie to the person to prevent them from finding out what we have done and so them getting upset (or angry at us). The truth here is that we are more protecting ourselves in these lies than protecting the other person, as it's normally that we are more worried about how the other person will react and what trouble we will get into when they find out.

I have never come across a lie that hasn't, eventually, been found out. I have never known a lie to be kept, and the truth has always been found out eventually. Has anyone ever found a lie that remained undiscovered? (or would you admitting it mean that it would be discovered?)

When asked, most of us say that the fact that the person lied about it upset them more than the act that they lied about did. People get in more trouble for hiding the truth than they would have got into if they had come clean and admitted it in the first place.

If the lies will always eventually be found out anyway, and people get more upset by someone lying and covering something up than if they'd just admitted it to start with, then why do we do it? Surely it must be better to be honest and face the wrath, rather than lie and put it off for a short while?
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